What has SMS done to us?

Just as the people of the dystopian future might travel back in time to kill the inventor of Paper to solve the eco-damage inflicted by mankind (but if you could afford to invent a time machine, you could probably afford rebuild the eco-system, violent futuristic arseholes); I would argue that the people of the txt-spk future would probably come back to kill Matti Makonnen to revive the English language (assuming txt-spk hasn’t extended to other languages).

Gone were the days when you just pick up the phone at home to ring your best friend immediately stepping on a fly that made a splat in the shape of Italy to tell them all about it. Nowadays if I wanna call someone, I text them first just to make sure they’re actually free to talk. Afterall I don’t want to catch them in the middle of a blind date with a deaf person; shopping in Tesco’s for a 12-month contract mobile phone; or singing in the shower to their iPhone Spotify playlist.

Maybe I’m just too polite and gutless, but when my best friend rings me on a Friday afternoon when I’m in the middle of dinner, my immediate reaction is, “Go away, I’m eating!”, preceded by “Damnit, my crotch is vibrating!” and “Damnit, my crotch is still vibrating!!”